jennifer lopez alienStreep! Winslet! Foster! These are names that just scream Oscar. But Lopez? As in Jennifer Lopez? Nah. She screams Teen Choice Award. Or Fatty B’s Favorite Fatty Booty award. But don’t tell that to J.Lo. She thinks she should be using her very own Academy Award to knock undead weasel husbo Marc Anthony upside the head every time he tells her she’s not as talented as that Beyonce. She told Latina magazine:

I feel like I had that [Oscar worthy role] in El Cantante, but I don’t even think the academy members saw it. I feel like it’s their responsibility to do that, to see everything that’s out there, everything that could be great.

Well, it is a little bit frustrating. It was funny; when the Oscars were on, I had just given birth on the 22nd, and the Oscars, I think, were a day or two later. I was sitting there with my twins—I couldn’t have been happier—but I was like, ‘How dope would it have been if I would’ve won the Oscar and been here in my hospital bed accepting the award?’ ‘Thank you so much! I just want to thank the academy!’

“Yeah, totally, dawg. That would’ve been so straight dope,” we said as we brushed the Snackwells crumbs off of our Hypercolor shirt and turned up the Bell Biv Devoe on the tape deck.

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