58584438Love springs eternal! No, wait. We meant love springs a turd hole. Katy Perry and Russell Brand are engaged! To be married! US breaks the story, saying:

The wacky pair — who’ve been dating since September 2009 — became betrothed five days ago while on holiday in Jaipur, India. A pal says that Brand, 34, proposed with a ring, and that Perry, 25, happily accepted.

Of their romance, a friend tells Us that Perry has “never connected with anybody like this.” As for Brand, the Forgetting Sarah Marshall star “is super into her. She says he makes her laugh like nobody else in the world,” an insider says.

Mazel tov to the beautiful couple! After they exchange vows, he can look forward to spending a lifetime twiddling her outstanding breasts. And she can look forward to a lifetime of  . . . stroking his artfully sculpted little beard? I dunno.

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